Faith fills the void
By Diana Hefley
Herald Writer
MONROE -- Jeff Knight wears his father's wedding ring. The gold band is a reminder of the husband he wants to be. It reminds him of the father figure he hopes he is to his sister. And it reminds him of the people counting on him for spiritual guidance.
"My dad was my hero. I want to be like him," Knight said.
The Monroe man has spent nearly three years striving to fill the gap his parents left when they died Jan. 31, 2000 in the crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261. Joe and Linda Knight, founders of The Rock Church in Monroe, were among the 88 people killed when the Puerto Vallarta to San Francisco flight plunged into the Pacific Ocean off the California coast. Early reports indicate that the crash was likely caused by a piece of the tail-control mechanism breaking off the in flight, making it impossible to pull the McDonnell Douglas MD-83 out of a sudden dive, according to federal investigators. The National Transportation Safety Board is expected to release its most authoritative report on the cause Tuesday. The board has made preliminary indications that lax maintenance practices and a design flaw are responsible for the crash.
"The report won't change that my parents are gone but we won't have to argue about the facts anymore," said Knight, 32. "There will be no more finger pointing and speculation."
That January afternoon, Knight, at age 29, suddenly had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He became a surrogate father to his sister Jenny, who was just 16. Today Jenny's engaged and studying psychology at Everett Community College. He became the leader of the 200-member church his parents founded. Now attendance has tripled. And these days Knight and his wife Melinda are finally talking about starting a family of their own. He has recently begun his search for peace.
"I had to be the strength for the church and the family," Knight said. "I have just started understanding that I'm going to have a lifetime without my parents. I guess I'm finally grieving as a son."
Linda Knight grew up in Monroe and was just 16 when she met Joe Knight at a horse show in Woodinville. They dated through their teens and married in 1968 before Joe Knight was sent to Japan as a radio decoder for the U.S. Air Force during the Vietnam War. The new bride decided to join her husband. She packed her bags and a sewing machine and bought a one-way ticket. The Knights spent the first couple years of their marriage in Japan. They later moved to Anchorage, Alaska and came back home to Washington in the mid-1970s. Life was not easy. The country was divided over the war in Vietnam and Joe Knight became ashamed of being a soldier, his son said. But in 1978, while he was in jail for theft -- the charges were later dropped -- the elder Knight dedicated his life to Jesus Christ.
The Knights held Bible study classes in their home in the early 1980s. As membership grew, they offered worship services around the area and opened a church in Woodinville. The church moved around for a couple of years and settled at its current location in Monroe six years ago. The Knights began speaking across the country about how Jesus Christ had changed their lives for the better. They also started missionary work in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Linda Knight was moved to action after visiting the city's garbage dump, where children and families lived in squalor.
"Mom's heart just melted down there," her son said.
The former drug and alcohol counselor persuaded hotels and other large companies to donate food to the families. The Knights also had showers built for the poor. At the time of their deaths, the couple was returning home from Puerto Vallarta after two weeks of work at the dump. Joe Knight had joined his wife in Mexico during the last leg of her trip to celebrate their 32nd wedding anniversary and his 54th birthday. The couple was detained and the flight was delayed 20 minutes because Joe Knight had an expired passport.
"They just let him on," their son said.
Jeff Knight remembers with vivid clarity the moment he realized his parents were probably dead. He was playing guitar at studio in Seattle. Melinda was there. A friend called after seeing reports on the news about the crash. Knight turned on a small television at the studio. He saw the wreckage. He remembers hearing it was Flight 261. He knew his parents were coming back from Mexico that day. He did not know their flight number. His father's assistant called to confirm that Joe and Linda Knight had been booked on Flight 261.
"It was 4:36 p.m.," Knight said. "That's when my life changed."
The crash happened only 16 minutes earlier. Knight stepped outside the studio and prayed to God to give him strength.
"It was a very specific moment. I remember saying 'God, I don't know if they were on that plane but I need your strength,' " he said. "I just got this sense that I was going to be OK. I just stepped into it."
Knight raced home to be with his sister, who had heard the news from a friend in Texas. The family clung to each other for support and they looked to God to guide them through the most painful moments of their young lives.
"I had never really experienced death before," Knight said. "I told myself I didn't want to respond by getting angry."
He didn't have time to get mad. He needed to be the anchor for his teenage sister.
"There was never any discussion about where I would go," Jenny Knight said. "That night of the accident I went home with him and haven't left."
And his parents' beloved congregation looked to him for direction.
"Dad's leaders came to me and said there was no one else to take over," Knight said.
Knight had graduated from Central Washington University with a degree in construction management. He worked as a youth pastor at the church and was content with that role.
"I really didn't want to be a senior pastor. I saw the pain my parents went through. I just wanted to support them," Knight said. "I wasn't like my parents. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fill their shoes."
But he didn't want to disappoint them or their congregation.
"He had to make a choice. He made the choice to carry on with his parents' vision," said Tim Gorman, Executive Pastor and longtime family friend.
Knight stood in front of the congregation the Sunday after the crash. He read his father's favorite piece of Scripture -- Matthew 6:33: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." He followed with his mother's favorite -- 2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
"I told the church that I didn't know what the future holds but if we seek God, everything will work out," he said. "Everything is working out -- as good as it can."
Today the congregation at The Rock Church numbers about 600. Classrooms have been added and Knight holds three services on Sundays to accommodate everyone who comes to worship with him. Melinda leads the women's worship group on Tuesdays and fills in when her husband is speaking at other churches. The family has continued with their mother's work in Mexico. The congregation has built a community center, complete with a medical clinic and classrooms, for the residents there. The church has also changed since Joe Knight stood at the pulpit.
"We've changed just about everything. There's a passion and vision Jeff has brought. The changes have been necessary," Gorman said.
The congregation is younger. Grandparents in their Sunday best worship side-by-side with teens with body-piercings and biker-types in leather jackets. The services are more contemporary with plenty of singing and clapping.
"This is not the same church my parents had. It's a church with great heritage but it has transitioned," Knight said. "I think my parents would be blown away."
And strangers are quietly drawn to the young pastor. He offers them something his father could not. Jeff Knight has felt the gut wrenching pain of losing his parents in an instant. He understands tragedy.
"I remember a woman whose daughter was killed in a car accident. She was in our church two hours later," Knight said.
He understands that he cannot make the pain go away. He can offer what was so important to him in the days after his parents died -- empathy.
"My favorite thing to hear was 'I don't know what you're going through but I'll be there for you,'" he said. "People don't want to be fixed. I didn't want to be fixed."
Knight misses his parents.
"I miss talking to them about everything and about nothing," he said through tears. "I think I'm just starting to understand the magnitude of the loss as a son."
The loss has changed Jeff Knight. Always responsible and mature, those things have intensified, friends and family said. He has distinguished himself as a leader. He has embraced his expanded role in his sister's life.
"I'm still his sister but he also looks out for me like my dad would have. He has been great to me," said Jenny Knight, 19.
The weeks, months and years following his parents' death have tested Knight. He grapples with the idea that his parents' death was divinity, yet caused by human error. It's a catechism that he struggles to understand. He tries not to ask himself why. He believes his parents are in heaven. And he believes God has plans for him. He tries to draw on what he and his family have been given: a stronger sense of faith, humbleness and grace. He talks of his parents during his sermons, directing parishioners to remember the foundations of their faith. These are the same foundations he learned as a boy from his father and mother.
"I don't ever want to forget. I want a bridge between this grief and my life but I don't ever want to forget the day I became what I am destined to be."